How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
