look no pants
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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