Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
