i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I want a musical about memes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
