What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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