Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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