We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Oh god it's open bar.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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