Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
