where am i from again
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
