i permit you to call me
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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