What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My cat gives me a boner
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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