absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
