I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
