it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
