jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
