y did u give ur computer a hand job?
zippers are such a cool invention
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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