it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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