i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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