I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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