Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
