She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
