I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
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