I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
