Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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