how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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