Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
