Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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