The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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