Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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