It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
