we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
