i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
