I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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