just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
