Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
