but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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