I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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