I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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