of course. lets lasso hookers.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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