I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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