I just saw a hot homeless man
i may or may not be watching the land before time
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
