How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
