She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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