In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
