who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
