Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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