Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
