why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
