I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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