You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
